Because I have been asked, both accusatorily and timorously both by people who mean well and those who are downright nosy, whether we celebrate Christmas, here it is: yes, we do Christmas. The trick comes in identifying how we define the Christmas that we celebrate and how we distinguish it from the meanings that others have for it. (To clarify, this entry is not a justification or general defense of the secularisation of Christmas, but mainly a statement of family policy.)

If you know us at all, you probably know that we’re not Christians. In fact, we belong to no organised religion and have no intention of joining at at this juncture (many thanks for sending the educational brochures and emails, folks, but my soul is pretty happy as it is. It likes the edginess of the perils of eternal damnation). I generally don’t speak for John on detailed matters of faith, as we have a mutual “believe what you want” policy as regards the specifics, but in basic theory, we’re more or less on the same page.

It’s the Jesus thing, folks. We don’t do that part at all.

The whole “son of God” part of the Trinity is not only key to Christianity, but it is also a matter of faith. You either believe it or you don’t. No amount of documentation, textual referencing, vehement arguing or any other form of cohercion is going to make a person believe something. Beliefs are things you come to through your own spiritual wanderings or are fundamental tenets that you simply “know”.

Now, we both understand intellectually the theory behind Jesus as the Christ and we’ve read an elephant-weight of information about the historicity of Jesus. No amount of brainwork can cause one to assimilate that knowledge into belief. In some cases it can help to flesh out an understanding of belief, but the deep-rooted, emotional grounding isn’t intellectual.

So, while we understand that Jesus was a man and a preacher born of a Jewish family who provided the basis for a new religious tradition, we are not of the community of people who see him as a part of, or related to, the godhead.

We will, however, stand up and proclaim loudly the right of any individual to adhere to beliefs and fight for religious freedom insofar as people do not use their religious practices to harm other people. But I’m digressing again, as I frequently do….

Back to Christmas, because that’s what this is all leading up to, afterall.

For us, Christmas is a time for family, a culmination of the year and a chance for rumination on the next year, and a way of rejoicing in the friendship and family ties that we have with wonderful people. We think about them, give them presents, spend time with them and reassert in our minds and theirs, how important they are to us.

Many of our friends and relations are practicising Christians and, for them, the celebration has an additional spiritual level in which they celebrate the birth of their faith as symbolised in the birth of Jesus (we’ll leave aside all details of calendar accuracy, the assimilation of pagan festivals into Christian, and any other historical stuff. As I said, faith is not dependant on the accuracy of historical details).

While we don’t actually share certain of their beliefs, it is more than possible to participate in and witness the beauty of the faiths of other people without belonging to them yourself. Christianity has many beautiful traditions, some unique, some borrowed from still other beliefs, and in the darkness of midwinter, the harmonies of music and lights as inspired by faith speaks beyond the range of the faith they represent.

One of the most elemental bits of C.S. Lewis’ “The Last Battle” (My least favourite of his books as it gets dismal and tedious really quickly – there’s not as much good storytelling in it) is where Aslan effectively divides things into the two halves of good and evil. He is the embodiment of good and Tash is his demonic counterpart. When speaking to an adherent of Tash, he explains that, although the man worshipped Tash all his life, what good he had done in Tash’s name was actually creditted to Aslan and all evil done by people in Aslan’s name was creditted to Tash.

This seems to be good sense to me. Call it what you will religiously, beauty and goodness are there to be created and enjoyed by all. Christmas can bring out the best in people, be they secular humanists, devout Christians or adherents of another faith. Anything that adds to a celebration of humanity and its potential is a good deal in my book.

So if you want the nitty-gritty, here’s what we do and think for Christmas and what we will tell our daughter as she gains understanding of such things:

• it’s called Christmas because it celebrates the birth of Christ, also known as Jesus. We participate in the celebration of life and love, and recognise the roots of the holiday, but do not particularly focus on Jesus as spiritually significant to us
• it started as a midwinter festival before Christianity and retains that function. For Christians, it has an added level of importance and that should be respected.
• we have a Christmas tree, but no nativity scene. We may change this at a later date. If we do, it will largely be as a testimony to the historical-religious foundations of the holiday. We are not getting a nativity scene until Katherine is old enough to understand what it sybolises and why we have one.
• we have no problem whatsoever with respecting the Christianity that is at the root of the holiday’s popularity. That’s why it’s called “Christmas”, after all.
• we don’t go to church during Christmas because of the confusion to Katherine. A toddler is just not capable of understanding the nuances I’ve gone over here.
• we sing Christmas carols. They’re pretty and the music is often heart-wrenchingly lovely. We like them. We sing other songs that we like too. Not all are representative of our personal beliefs.
• we have big family gatherings and enjoy the company of family and friends.
• we feel the magic of love and family in Christmas
• we take our dogs for their Christmas Day walk as a family and enjoy being alive and together and healthy and happy.

Most of all, we celebrate being with friends and family and we celebrate friends and family. We lived away from Newfoundland for a few years and spent two Christmases without lots of family around us. Having done without the closeness for a couple of years made us understand exactly how important it really is to us.