In line at a coffee shop while at Katherine’s swimming lesson:

Very Nice Jamaican Server: What can I get for you?

Me: I’ll have a large coffee and a pumpkin muffin. John?

John (who has been suffering intensely with laryngitis): I’ll have a large coffee, black and a new voice, if you have one back there.

Very Nice Jamaican Server: I’ll get you a coffee, sir, and I’d offer you my voice if that would help.

Me (to John): If you took his voice, I’d still sleep with you.

Silence.

Very Nice Jamaican Server spills coffee on floor.

All the other staff freeze and then suddenly break into massive gales of laughter.

Very Nice Jamaican Server: You can have your coffee for free, sir.