From the mouths….

It was snack time yesterday and Katherine was doing one of her favourite tricks of late; the rhyming game. The format is simple. You pick a word and Katherine gives you three or four words that rhyme with it. I’m often surprised at what she comes up with. There are words on the tip of…

Point of information

It takes about twenty (unpleasant) minutes of rinsing to get one entire 265mL bottle of kids’ shampoo out of the chin-length bob of a four-year-old. The resulting hair is clean, but possibly no cleaner than a half-teaspoon would have made it.

Three approaches to one problem

Yesterday we ran out of dog food. My stop-gap measure during such an emergency is to feed the dogs cooked brown rice. This fills them up enough that they don’t create drool puddles on the floor while watching us eat. It also alleviates the need to regularly count the limbs and digits of all humanoids…

Perspective

Katherine and I were doing words and letters yesterday It went something like this: Me: Okay, “Dog”. What does “d-d-d-dog” start with? K: (pause) “Dee!” Me: Right! Alright, now, “snake”. What does “sssssssnake” start with? K: (instantly) “Ess! Ess for Steve!” Me: You got it! Next is “piñata”. What does “p-p-piñata” start with? K: Pee…

The effects of living with children….

It’s Saturday night. We’re on our way out to dinner with friends. I’ve just briefed the two fifteen year-old girls who are babysitting. John sits in the car, snickering. Me: What’s so funny? John: Oh, nothing. Me: No really. What gives? John: The last thing you said to those poor girls was, and I quote,…

Bad mother

Right. We have reached a new low in this house. I am sitting here endeavouring to get some work done and Katherine is playing fetch. Really. I throw the tennis ball out into the hall and she brings it back. Her retrieve is pretty good. She can even beat two of the dogs consistently. The…

Contagious habits.

Katherine and I have recently embarked (successfully) on that unholy voyage of mother and daughter in which the former teaches the latter about the proper use of the lavatory and the former devises every excuse in the book for maintaining the status quo (diapers). We’re almost to the end now, but there was one particular…

Rather sweet (and uncannily accurate)

Katherine drew a picture today. She crumpled it up inside another piece of paper and brought it to me, telling me that it was a present. I opened it and found this: “This” is a picture of John (the pink blob, with black legs), at work, thinking about home. The squiggles to the right of…

A zoo. I run a zoo.

The following phrases came out of my mouth this morning: “Moss! Off the table!” “Katherine, do not put a marker up the dog’s nose!” pause “In fact, avoid all canine orifices with any object.” “Wikket, move!” pause “Wikket, move!” pause “Wikket, move!” pause “Wikket, move!” pause “Wikket, move!” pause (repeat intermittently throughout the morning as…

The children I never had

K: My sister is going to come over later. Me: You have a sister? Where? K: She’s somewhere else. Someone else has her. Me: Really? What’s she like? K: Pink and whitey and squiggly. Her name is Treetui.  My brother is coming over too. Me: Wow! You have a brother too? Where’s he? K:  He…

An exercise in linear thinking

Okay, say you were the sort of person that participates in memes. Or at least, say that you’re the sort of person who loves books and grants himself dispensation when it comes to literary memes (understandable). What do you do? Do you: a) cut and paste the meme and insert your own answer? b) type…

She has to eat because…

I was taking a moment to read some weird news on CBC the other day when John wandered in and started reading over my shoulder. At that moment, I happened to be just leaving the page about a marine who was trying to auction off the rights to rename him in order to raise some…