I was dusting the living room (yes, okay, I know I should be outside enjoying the sun or working on the heaps of stuff I have yet to finish, but I’m in a rotten mood today and was cleaning house. Deal.) when a bolt of naked lightening transected my peripheral vision screaming, “Yipppeeeeeee……..!”

There was a fairly significant period of silence, during which time I determined that I should reconsider my resolution not to drink wine before supper. Must have been hallucinating. Carry on.

Dusting again. Cleaning window ledges. Tops of picture frames.

“Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!  Boing!!! Boing!!! Boing!!! ” This time the lightening was bouncing, thus keeping it within my direct line of sight long enough for me to recognise that I was, indeed, seeing a naked child bounce through the front hall. Past the windows looking out onto the street across which a neighbour with binoculars watches us (we live in a small town).

“Katherine, put on some clothes!”

No answer.

“Katherine, if you’re not wearing clothes the next time I see you, I’ll feed you to the monsters.”

Silence.

“Katherine? Are you wearing clothes now?”

“Yes”

“Good. Please leave them on.”

Back to dusting.

Two minutes later, she emerges, wearing socks.