A two year-old in a toy store a month before Christmas.

Mom and I took Katherine to Toys R Us today, so that I could gawk at toys and we could both watch the munchkin spin from one display to another, pushing random buttons and eliciting bizarre noises from large, expensive pieces of brightly-coloured plastic.

Katherine dove head-first into the Thomas the Tank Engine display and surfaced only periodically for air. Eventually we found her, ensconced on a toddler-sized ride-on engine that comes with tracks and is battery-operated. For the low-low price of $400 (plus 15% HST, plus a fortune in replacement batteries), you too can engage in warfare with your child during the eight hours that the batteries take to charge.

Managed to herd her away from it eventually, to the “music” toys. Some were your standard drums and tambourines, but most were things that require only the pushing of a button for “music” to be heard. If I ever want to precipitate divorce, I’ll get her one.

Mom and I had fun, though. Found a few things that Katherine will really enjoy for Christmas. Marvelled at the assortment of really dumb things there are for kids. Watched Katherine bliss herself out on non-education singing pianos, with moving faces.

A highly successful visit, until it was time to leave. There should be a Time to Leave Kit that one picks up at the entrance, containing a gag and duct tape, or at the very least, a pollylop for bribery. They could make money on that one….