To the other adult in this house,

Please take note of the following list:

• toilet paper
• diapers
• coffee
• milk
• COFFEE FILTERS******
• juice
• cereal
• dishwasher detergent
• laundry detergent
• toothpaste
• dog food

When you consume, use or in anyway ultimately deplete the household supply of any of these items you are OBLIGED by contract of marriage to replace the stock of said items ASAP.

If it is not possible to run to the store because you have left it until 12:30pm, then you are obliged to WARN YOUR WIFE of the state of affairs, especially when it pertains to bathroom functions and her intake of caffeine.

All other men reading this should take note of this advisory and list and file it away under “ways not to piss off your wife”.

****** you used the last one last night, dipswitch.

Addendum: A piece of organza, trimmed and fitted properly does a not-bad job as an impromptu filter.