Picture, if you will, my child today. She is just four years old (recently turned four), forty-one inches tall and forty-one pounds. She is currently wearing the following:

• rainbow underwear, inside-out
• one adult-sized hair buckle, falling out
• one sock:

Today she decided that having a “jammy day” (which she has every day of the week) wasn’t sufficient. No sir. Today was going to be a “naked day”. I ignored it for two hours and turned down the heat, thinking that the problem might be self-correcting if no attention was paid.

Nope. Didn’t work.

Finally I fought the fight and got underpants on her. Then she got cold and put on mittens, one pair on her feet and another on her hands. I suggested clothes. I proposed jammies.

Nope. Not gonna.

So now she’s running around the house in her underwear (which is variably inside and right-side out, as she randomly removes it while playing trains or reading) and wearing one sock (which I just finished), because haven’t done the other yet. Meanwhile, I’m freezing cold, despite clothes, socks and a sweater.

Life is just so unfair.

_______________________

For those interested, here’s the Very Simple Sock Recipe:

1 ball of Paton’s Kroy (colour is “winter eclipse”)

1 set of four dpns, 2.5mm

fits a child who wears size 11 kids’ shoes and has a 6.25″ long foot

Part one:

• cast on 42 stitches, divide onto 3 needles (14 stitches on each), join carefully
• knit three rows
• next row: K2Tog, YO (repeat to end of row)
• knit three more rows
• next row: knit next row together with cast on row (the beginning row). One stitch of cast on row per stitch of next row
• knit 2 more inches (or thereabouts)

Heel:

• knit ten
• turn and purl 20 (these will be your heel flap stitches)
• put the rest of the stitches on a stitch holder or needle (I use two needles to hold the remaining stitches, half on each). These will be your instep.
• first heel row: Sl 1, K 1 (repeat to end of row)
• second heel row: Sl1 only, purl to end of row
• repeat these two rows alternately until you’ve worked 1.5″, ending with row 2
• K12, K2Tog, K1, turn
• Sl 1, purl 6, P2Tog, P1
• K to within one of gap, K2Tog, K1. turn
• Sl 1, purl to within 1 of gap, P2Tog, P1
• repeat these last two rows until you have 12 stitches remaining.

Rest of sock (gussets & foot part):

• k across 12 stitches, pick up 12 in first side of heel flap. K across instep, pick up 12 on second side of heel flap. Divide stitches so that you have 18 on each of the two sides and 22 on the instep.
• first row of gusset decreases: K to within 3 of end of first needle, K2Tog, K1. K instep. K1, Slip 2 as if to knit, knit through back of these two, K to end of needle
• second row of gusset decreases: K all needles ordinarily.
• repeat these until there are 10 on each of the side needles and 22 on the gusset.
• Knit around until work measures 4.75″ from heel to needles, or 1.5″ less that desired foot length.

Toe:

• first row toe decrease: Knit first needle. Second needle K1, Sl2 as if to knit, knit through back of these two, K to three from end, K2Tog, K1. Knit third needle.
• second row toe decrease: K first needle to three from end, K2Tog, K1. Second needle K1, Sl2 as if to knit, knit through back of these two, K to three from end, K2Tog, K1. Third needle K1, Sl2 as if to knit, knit through back of these two, knit to end.
• third row toe decrease: knit
• repeat rows two and three until a total of 12 stitches remain.
• use the Kitchener stitch to bind off.

Rinse. Repeat.