The following phrases came out of my mouth this morning: “Moss! Off the table!” “Katherine, do not put a marker up the dog’s nose!” pause “In fact, avoid all canine orifices with any object.” “Wikket, move!” pause “Wikket, move!” pause “Wikket, move!” pause “Wikket, move!” pause “Wikket, move!” pause (repeat intermittently throughout the morning as…
Category: household humour
The children I never had
K: My sister is going to come over later. Me: You have a sister? Where? K: She’s somewhere else. Someone else has her. Me: Really? What’s she like? K: Pink and whitey and squiggly. Her name is Treetui. My brother is coming over too. Me: Wow! You have a brother too? Where’s he? K: He…
An exercise in linear thinking
Okay, say you were the sort of person that participates in memes. Or at least, say that you’re the sort of person who loves books and grants himself dispensation when it comes to literary memes (understandable). What do you do? Do you: a) cut and paste the meme and insert your own answer? b) type…
She has to eat because…
I was taking a moment to read some weird news on CBC the other day when John wandered in and started reading over my shoulder. At that moment, I happened to be just leaving the page about a marine who was trying to auction off the rights to rename him in order to raise some…
The Curse of the Cervical Pillow
It was a dark and stormy day. All the earth was shrouded in clouds of snow and battered by gusting winds. The Fearless Lawyer bravely fought his way home from the office, his briefcase clutched in his sweaty palm as though it were a talisman against the forces of nature. Suddenly, he was beset by…
Raising the Bar Strength & Conditioning 