okay, it’s heavy, but I’m strong

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? Mmm… I don’t know Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’ ‘Cause I built my life around you But time makes you bolder Children…

Too

I’ve been “too” a lot of my life.
Too smart. Too forward. Too confident. Too strong. Too fat. Too muscular. Too clever. Too good at school. Too good at sports. Too good at too many things. Too knowledgeable. To loud or vocal. Too much. Too intimidating. 

Strength, courage, and the gift

I’m not sure quite where to start, so I’ll begin at the middle, jump back to the beginning and hope to find the end in the years ahead. I found out today that a friend died yesterday. I wouldn’t say that we thought of each other as extremely close friends; more people who had many…

Two short weeks until IPF Worlds, Salo, Finland

I’m not quite sure why I the passage of time has eluded me over the last two weeks. Maybe it was being caught up in training and work or being distracted by the sudden appearance of Spring. Whatever the case, it only dawned on me yesterday that June is next week and I leave on…

My own skin

I’m going to come right out and say it: I love my body. I love that I’m short. It gives me tremendous leverage and I like the world from this height. I love that I am physically stronger than many women and always have been. I’m proud of what this lets me do. It took…

It’s not you, it’s me

Most of the emails or comments I’ve received from people about my fitness pursuits have been overwhelmingly positive and for that I’m sincerely appreciative. What I find slightly harder to respond to with any tact and dignity are the more negative assertions, as well as the questions that appear to imply that my choices are…

A change and a rest

For this week and next, I’m eating like I’m not trying to lose weight. It’s a refreshing change and a planned hiatus to enable me to make it through the Christmas season without collapse. I’m still eating properly, paying attention to getting enough protein and ensuring that a large proportion of my carbs come from…

This is not Before and After

About seven months ago, I looked at myself in the mirror long and hard and realised that I needed to change a few things about my life. Some of the big pieces were doing just fine (incredible marriage, awesome kid, good job) but one of the largest had fallen completely out of alignment and needed…

Time slows

When you’re on an island without electricity, running water or much communication with the outside world, time slows right down. You live with the rhythms of the sun and tides and begin to feel the daily round in your blood. You eat when hungry, rest when tired and stop frequently to appreciate that you’re just…

Busy as a bayman with two wood stoves. Or maybe as burnt out as one?

Or as a bee. I’ve never understood why beavers, bees and baymen are considered to be the archetypes of frenzied activity. Every mother I’ve met could give them a pretty good run for their money. Between trying to keep this household on an even keel and juggling (rather poorly just now) volunteer responsibilities, lately I’ve…

Some mornings…

Some mornings you run because you feel guilty about what you ate yesterday or how your clothes fit this morning or because there’s a race coming up and you need to get the mileage in. Some mornings you run because you need to get away from something or because you’re counting calories. And some mornings…