I was just heading in to take a bath when the following conversation ensued:

Me: So what did you think of the purple shampoo?

John: Nice. Very purple. Did you read what it’s supposed to do for you, though?
Me: Nooo…… Haven’t read the directions on shampoo in a few years now. Lemma see…

John: No, I have to read this too you…

Me: Oh come on, it can’t be that good. Not like it promises to improve my sex life or anything, right?

John: Don’t be too sure! Here it is:

Wildly Exciting is Our Normal

Escape into a world of exotic pleasure and unleash the power of your beautifully renewed hair. Seductively lush and wild, this fragrant shampoo, exclusively blended with 100% organic botanicals and essences of coconut and palm oils, will take your hair to a place its never been before: renewed, radiant and naturally flowing

Me: Wow. Pass it over and I’ll scrub some in.

John: No, no, no, you can’t “scrub” it in, you have to, “Massage your hair under a waterfall and get lost in the sensuous lather. Linger in the lush fragrance and exotic pleasure. Rinse when ready.”

Me: Uh-huh. Right. So you’re not getting a bucket to dump water over my head thus simulating a waterfall.

John: No, that would be detrimental to my marriage. Are you lingering in the lush frangrance, though?

Me: No, I’m sitting here soaking my head. Can I get out now?

John: Is your hair, “soft, luminous and light?”

Me: No, just wet. Can I get out now?

John: No, you’re not done yet. You have to finish up with conditioner and styling products for normal hair….

Me: Give me that bottle and step away from my towel!

John: Okay, I’ll assume that it “sooth(ed) your stressed tresses with balanced moisture.” Do you think there’s anyone who actually believes this stuff???