For the education of certain parties who reside in this house.
Please take careful note of the following common errors:
The appropriate placement for discarded vestments and other articles of clothing is within said hamper. Also please note that leather belts, diapers, money and pocket knives should be removed from the clothing before the latter are placed in the appropriate receptacle.
This is instrumental to the preservation of the integrity of VERY EXPENSIVE MACHINES.
Hmmmph.
Raising the Bar Strength & Conditioning 
This seems to be a recurring theme with some variations. It is still so in my house.
Ooops. Also a recurring theme.
Message for Mary Hood
Mary, have you ever painted a water colour painting entitled “The Renoir Exhibition”? If not, any idea who the Mary Hood is who did paint it?
Many thanks,
Liam Brown
No, but I make a mean teddy bear!
Your house sounds just like mine 🙂 Laundry basket training still has a long way to go! As for the kitchen – keep standing up 🙂 helen